The birth experience naturally has the potential to be blissful, ecstatic and deeply connective, and it has the power to transform women’s lives. In this piece, Avalon Darnesh gives practical suggestions for enhancing the ecstasy of the birth process for birthing women through intentional preparation, holding a loving space, mother-baby contact and lotus birth.
We are amidst a transition into a new paradigm of birth; our focus has gone beyond simply aiming for a natural birth, expanding to embrace birth as an opportunity for a blissful, ecstatic experience. With this approach, we can take the opportunity birth provides to blossom into our full feminine power and sensual potential.
Women’s bodies are biologically designed to release a peak amount of oxytocin, the love hormone, during birth. It is nature’s blueprint for us to feel bliss and ecstasy as we share those first moments with our newborns. This paramount experience of love, deep bonding and connection creates a powerful imprint we carry with us throughout the rest of our lives. A growing number of people are recognizing birth as an imperial rite of passage into motherhood, each birth an opportunity to deeply transform into our true power as mother and woman.
How can we support a woman in having this ecstatic, empowering experience? It is not solely through birth itself, but the preparation, prior to and the days following, that create the entire birth experience. The first step in this climactic process is accepting that blissful birth is possible. By trusting in the birthing process and educating women about how their bodies operate and how they are perfectly able to give birth, we can shift the cultural perspective around birth from one of fear and contraction, to one of celebration and expansion. Viewing birth as the supreme sexual opening helps us to understand how we can best support this process of unfolding, as nature intended.
During pregnancy there is much we can do to prepare for a blissful birth. The hormones essential in pregnancy encourage a woman to become more sensitive, aware and perceptive. Anything not in alignment with her deepest truth can surface and within these heightened moments it is vital that she feel and express whatever arises during this time, rather than suppressing or dismissing these sensitivities as merely ‘hormones’. More so, these powerful emotions are windows to deeper healing, giving access to any unresolved issues and subconscious blocks prior to birth. By honoring these emotions and supporting a woman to connect within, she can feel and release unresolved emotions, enabling her to access her intuition, her body wisdom, so she can enter the sacred spiral of birth as a clear channel for this energy to flow freely through and emerge transformed into motherhood. One of the best ways to prepare for birth, aside from physical activity, rest and proper nourishment is to develop a trust and connection with the body. Create an uplifting vision for birth and surround yourself with positive support.
During the birth itself, a woman needs to feel safe and relaxed so she can surrender to the natural flow of birth hormones. Similar to love making, she needs privacy and warmth to connect with her heart and body, dropping out of her rational mind so she can enter this ‘birthing realm’. Sensual relaxing touch with a loving partner can enhance the connection with the body and the ability to surrender due to its effect in increasing oxytocin, which progresses labor smoothly. Relaxing in this way also helps the body adapt to the strong sensations of labor with ease. Even if not partnered, a support person can provide relaxing gentle (or firmer) touch, if this is what’s desired. Encourage any sound or movements she needs to release, so she can be completely wild and free in her space of birthing. Reassure her of her beauty and power as she opens for birth and stay connected, even if energetically from afar. Remember, it is a privilege to share the space of a birthing woman. It is a sacred space.
As soon as the baby is born, allow the mother to embrace the baby close to her heart, skin on skin, face to face. These precious moments after birth are best undisturbed. Coming close to the mother’s heart like this informs the baby that birth is complete, switching off their adrenaline and enhancing their flow of oxytocin, bringing them to a peaceful state of safety and connectivity. Honor this time by being quiet and holding a loving space. Leave the cord attached so the baby stays connected with the mother and gets its full quota of blood. For optimum benefit, do not cut the cord at all but allow it to remain attached until it falls away naturally. Called a Lotus Birth, this practice extends that blissful birthing energy for the first few days of this new baby’s life; not only for the baby, but the mother and family too can enjoy this space of elation, giving the gentlest transition into life on Earth. There are a few practical things needed in preparation, like a bucket, strainer and ground dried rosemary or salt to preserve the placenta. For those wanting to fully experience the gifts of birth, having personally done this twice I highly recommend this process to complete the blissful birth experience.
As we approach birth in this way, we will discover more and more women stepping into their full power and more babies entering the world in a space of love and safety. Just these two factors alone will gradually transform our culture into one of more peace and love.
See how you can be supported for your birth HERE.
And if you havent’ seen it yet, you can read all about my ecstatic freebirth HERE.