Or in other words, my blissful, orgasmic, euphoric, sensual, unassisted freebirth waterbirth homebirth lotus birth of our little boy…

T’was the night before Easter and all through the house not a creature was stirring except perhaps a mouse or 2 in the kitchen…

Brett and I were relaxing on our daybed under the full moon indulging in our own early Easter present, Lindt balls. They were the perfect temperature, liquid chocolate in the middle, so luxurious! Months earlier I had predicted that we would be birthing under the Easter Full Moon. That was tonight. I wasn’t attached to it being tonight, but I was curious when our baby would join us, knowing that it would be really soon. I had been having some vague-out moments for the past couple of days, similar to what happened prior to birthing my other 2 babies.

“Do you think the baby knows when it is going to be born?” I asked Brett.

“I think they are more in present moment awareness than that,” he replied.

“But do you think the baby will be having a sense of anticipation, like something is about to happen?” I wondered.

“Yes probably…” he pondered.

It was getting late and we were getting tired so we decided to go to bed, it was 10:15pm on Saturday night (and the tap drips under the strip light…). Nothing was happening, which was okay, and we wanted to get some sleep. In bed we snuggled up together, kissing and cuddling and indulging in each other sensually as we usually do. Brett started caressing me in the beautiful way he does, touching my breasts and body so tenderly, and I felt such blissful energy flowing through me. Especially when he stroked underneath my belly, it sent waves of pleasure through my body which felt really delicious. When he started caressing my breasts again I felt a different pleasure deep in my womb. So deep, so powerful. Wow, that feels different, amazing! It felt like a deep opening feeling. As he continued to touch me and kiss me I felt it again, a deep expansion down low in my womb. I placed my hand on my womb and felt such a powerful energy flowing through me.

I’d had frequent Braxton Hicks contractions (which I prefer to call ‘womb rushes’) throughout my whole pregnancy, but this feeling was different. It was much lower down and started radiating from a deeper place with more intensity. Brett could feel it too, it was a different energy to what we were used to. Then I started shivering. Hardcore shivering with chattering teeth I could not control. It was strange. We pulled the blankets up and it immediately warmed me and eased my shivering. We continued to lie in bed together for a while more, thoroughly enjoying the feelings flowing through us in such a sensual space. Especially when he touched my breasts, it triggered a deep and powerful yet also gentle surge of energy in my womb.

“I think we’re having our baby tonight!” I said to Brett.

“Yes, I can feel it. I can feel that energy in your womb, it’s amazing!” said Brett.

After a while of indulging in this warm, beautiful space together, we both realised we needed to get up and set up the birthing space. We could have easily stayed in bed luxuriating in this energy for longer but our practical side kicked in. We needed to set up the birthing pool, put up blankets over the loungeroom windows to block out the morning light, set up the space with candles, set up the fire, etc. So we got up and went into the living area. It was about 11pm at this point.

The birth rushes slowed down while we attended practical details. We had chosen to ‘freebirth’, which meant we didn’t need to call any birth attendants or anything, we were birthing our baby in our own space of love without any professionals in attendance. In trusting the birth process and knowing my body is perfectly designed to birth our baby, we both felt freedom and excitement in being able to indulge in this sensual space together without spectators, loving our baby out just as we’d loved it in there in the first place!

Brett got the fire going, we found blankets and sheets which Brett nailed up over the windows, he finished inflating the birth pool, and set up the candles. I cleaned up the kitchen a bit and made some hummus from chickpeas that had been cooked a few days earlier…I thought I might like to eat some in the birth, that was my logic in making it a priority! I also made up some ‘Labor-ade’ a homemade energy drink made with molasses, apple cider vinegar, sea salt, honey…and possibly a couple of other ingredients I forget right now…it was dark in colour and tasted unusual and earthy, so I put a jug of it in the loungeroom next to a big jug of water. There were snacks in the fridge. I felt prepared. And excited! Our baby’s coming tonight, just as I knew it would!!

Brett cleansed the space with Palo Santo, a beautiful aromatic wood used in a similar way to sage, to energetically cleanse a space. We also smudged each other with it. We were both feeling really relaxed yet there was an undeniable excitement and sense of anticipation as well. During this time the birth rushes really slowed down, I had maybe 4 or 5 rushes while we were setting up and they were quite gentle. It helped to put my arms around Brett’s neck and breathe out ‘aahhh’ and slowly sway my hips to move the energy through me. It was really gentle and easy and felt really beautiful to have such deep energy radiating through my hips and womb.

It was starting to get really warm in the house so we decided to go outside and connect with the full moon. It was beautiful and refreshing out there so we stood naked under the moon light together where I had another couple of rushes flow through me. We were enjoying the freshness of being outside and also wanted to lie down together, so we chose to nestle on the day bed in each other’s arms under the mosquito net together. We were both feeling quite sleepy and relaxed, so we decided to close our eyes and chill out for a while, even snoozing a bit between rushes. The birth rushes were still gentle at this point and with each one we would open our eyes and connect through it as I breathed ‘aahh’ and Brett joined me, breathing the energy through together. We were out there for a while, like maybe an hour or more, it was hard to tell, we were in quite a timeless space, and then it started to feel a bit chilly, and I was needing to get up and move my body, so we moved into the house again.

It was so warm and toasty in there. Getting up and moving kicked the birth rushes in to the next level. They were becoming more powerful now and I really needed to sway and swirl my hips while vocalising a deep and powerful ‘aahhhhhh….’ to move the energy through me. Brett was amazing, totally connected with me, vocalising with me, swaying with me. It felt really comforting to have his warm hand pressed low on my sacrum with each rush and it felt soothing to push my hips out to allow the energy to flow out through me into the earth, sticking my bottom out while swaying and spiralling with each rush.

“We need to fill up the pool!”

I shared with Brett as I felt such a deep opening in my body, moving me into the next level of our birth. The hose was dismally slow, slowly trickling into the pool. It was okay, we were still feeling really relaxed and I knew we still had a bit of time. I was starting to really bliss out between rushes. The most euphoric feelings were flowing through me, everything around me seemed like the edges were fuzzy and I was feeling this beautiful energy flowing through me in ecstatic waves of bliss. We were sharing such a beautiful, sensual space together exactly as we’d visioned, connecting, kissing and caressing in between rushes. As each rush began to flow through my body I put my arms around Brett’s neck and spiralled it through my hips, allowing my voice to carry the energy through my body, out through my pelvis, down into the earth, feeling myself opening, opening, deepening…it was amazing!

The rushes were coming more often now without much space between. We checked the water level in the pool which was still really low, and the temperature was a perfect 37 degrees. The rushes continued and became more intense, and with it my voice became deeper and more powerful to move it through, like a dark lioness, primal, low roaring, untamed and fully expressed. It was such a surrender, embracing each rush as the wave came through me, intensifying to a powerful peak and then subsiding again, each one more powerful than that last. I was doing nothing, just allowing my body to do what it needed, and I just moved and sounded however felt good, staying connected with Brett and feeling myself opening, expanding, dissolving into bliss between rushes. As I felt each rush begin I welcomed it, inviting the energy to flow through me, embracing it fully. I could feel our baby moving in my womb, part of it all, connected in this birthing space. I was in a totally altered state which felt amazing, riding the waves of bliss, feeling myself opening and deepening in such love for our baby to come through me. Then the energy suddenly shifted. I felt so open and a pressure bearing down in my pelvis, feeling a widening inside me and a fullness that was expanding me open deep within.

“I need to get in the water NOW,” I said to Brett and I moved toward the pool. But another rush started flowing through me so I put my arms around Brett’s neck again and breathed it through with a long, deep, low ‘Raaaah’ which got louder and intensified along with the sensations in my body. The pressure bearing down inside me was irresistible and so powerful and for a moment I wondered if the baby was going to come out there and then.

“Oh my god, the baby’s coming…I’m opening…”

I said to Brett, and as soon as the rush was over I climbed into the pool, with the warm water just barely over my hips when I was squatting. I stuck my finger inside my yoni and felt the shiny sack of waters right there just inside!

“Wow, Brett, feel this! The waters are right here!” I guided his hand so he could feel it too. Then with the next rush I was squatting leaning forward and feeling a powerful pressure bearing down into my pelvis as the rush intensified…then POP! The waters broke which immediately shifted the pressure. I shared with Brett that the waters had broken. I put my finger inside me again and could feel the top of the baby’s head!

“The head’s coming!” I said to Brett, and with the next rush I could feel the baby’s head moving through my yoni, and I was saying “stretch… stretch …stretch… stretch…” aloud to myself, feeling my yoni opening, feeling the top of the head crowning, emerging through me. That was Brett’s cue to climb in the pool behind me! The same rush continued with an irresistible fullness deep in my pelvis as the baby moved down through me. My body was doing it, I did nothing except breathe and surrender to what was happening. I was aware of wanting to stretch slowly and the baby’s head was bearing down with a great force, my body was wanting to push the baby out totally in that one rush. It took great self control to breathe into my body and slow it down, I didn’t want our baby to come flying out in one great whoosh! My body was bearing down hard, pushing from within with no effort from me. My womb so powerful. Breathe…breathe…breathe… I was feeling the baby’s head wanting to come out, pushing through, opening me…and then the rush subsided, which was a relief to me because it gave me time to pause, with baby’s head right there crowning, stretching me open. I knew that birthing too fast was a greater risk of tearing and it was important to me to stretch as slowly and gently as I could. It felt amazing to be in that space for a few moments, fully stretched, baby coming out!

The pause didn’t last long, within a few moments another rush started flowing through me and my hand was on the baby’s head, feeling myself slowly gently stretching open as the head moved down, opening me more fully. I was breathing powerfully and calmly, feeling my yoni stretching open as the baby’s head squeezed through. It was an incredible feeling, so expansive and exciting and exhilarating! My body was doing it, without any effort from me. I simply breathed and allowed it…and then the head squeezed out and popped out fully, with a bit of a “Raah…” from me. Wow!

There was another pause. Brett was behind me, gently receiving our baby’s head into his loving hands. Again, really soon another rush came through me, squeezing the baby out past the shoulders to the waist. It was such a release, such a surrender, so amazing to feel our baby moving through me, coming out of me. The baby was half out to it’s waist. Then there was a pause. I turned and looked over my shoulder to Brett. His hand was on our baby’s heart, feeling a strong, relaxed heartbeat and Brett said to me slightly amused “bubs is asleep, totally relaxed with a good heartbeat.” So our baby was asleep, peacefully drifting under the water, totally relaxed. There was quite a pause for a while, it’s hard to tell how long. I was squatting with baby half out of me, Brett was holding our baby so peaceful. What a magical moment! Oh my god, I could see our baby. Just a glimpse over my shoulder, but there it was, a real baby coming out of me!!

It was an interesting time to have a break! Hmmm… waiting waiting… Everything had been so fast boom boom boom one rush after another and now we had a moment to just be still. I’m not sure how long it was, possibly only 30 seconds or something, maybe a minute, but if felt like a while. Then it came, another rush. This time I gave the slightest hint of effort to nudge him through, just that last bit, a bit of a push from me and the rest of his body came squirming out of me all lumpy and squishy and long and squirmy and he was out!! I turned around and Brett lifted him up out of the water onto my chest. He was still asleep! So peaceful, floppy, warm and slippery! His heartbeat was strong and we knew he was getting everything he needed from his cord so we could relax. He wasn’t breathing yet. I snuggled him on my chest and gently rubbed his back, stimulating him to breathe. We welcomed him in “Hello baby, welcome, welcome to this world! We love you, you are here! You are perfect…welcome!” I was ecstatic to be holding our baby in my arms. He was here! (By the way, we still didn’t know if it was a he or she). He wasn’t breathing yet so again I rubbed his back gently and picked him up and blew on his face. No movement. I sucked his nose and blew a little bit of air in his mouth. We both felt calm and relaxed, no need to panic. There was a tiny bit of movement from him, his arms. The cord was still pulsing strong, he was getting everything he needed. I was feeling so much love, inviting him in, welcoming him. I knew he was here to stay, I knew he would breathe and awaken. Again I blew a little bit of air in his mouth and then he gently started breathing, still asleep! It’s hard to know how long it was, maybe a minute, maybe longer? It felt like a while but at the same time we felt loving and trusting and relaxed. He was breathing now, snuggled on my chest. We were overjoyed…and amused. He is still asleep! Wow, what a gentle beginning!

Then we had one more secret to discover – was our baby a boy or a girl? How exciting! His legs were all folded up so it wasn’t easy to see, and then we discovered he was a boy. How perfect! How exciting, our little boy! Then we also remembered to check the time. It was just after 3:33am. So labour was about 5 hours from beginning to end.

Brett put a cloth around him and we splashed water on it to keep him warm. It was hard to stay warm in such a shallow pool and we were all wet, so I tried sinking down lower in the water to stay warm but it was a bit tricky. He was waking gently by now, slowly opening his eyes. After a few minutes we chose to get out the pool, dry off and get warmer by the fire. I stood up and with Brett’s help, climbed out the pool. Then I saw a torchlight by the door, Luna and Lotus were awake! I eagerly motioned for them to come in and join us. How perfect! They came in just after he was born, exactly as I had visioned. They came to join us and we said “Here is your little brother, just born!” we were teary with joy and excitement, so ecstatic! He was so perfect, so divine.

birth of zen

We sat by the fire and dried off and got warmer. I started feeling uncomfortable reclining on a big cushion, a lot of pressure was on my sacrum. Then I remembered the placenta. I ran my fingers along the cord which was coming out of me and could feel the placenta just inside the entrance of my yoni. Brett helped me up into a squat and put a big stainless steel bowl under me and I pushed the placenta out. A big squashy sack of placenta came out with a blob into the bowl. And a few drops of blood but that was it, hardly any blood at all! As we were doing a Lotus Birth, there was no intention to cut the cord at all so we left it attached. With the placenta out of me I felt a lot more comfortable to sit down so made myself comfortable and gave our little boy his first feed. I’d offered the breast in the pool but he was still waking up and not interested until now. And he had a strong little latch on him, straight in there, suckling strongly and beautifully. My uterus started contracting straight away which felt intense, and I’d prepared for this by having a herbal tincture made by the local healing place. It had crampbark and various other things in it, and tasted awful, so I downed it with some of my labor-ade that was still left. Our new little baby was in my arms, suckling at my breast for the first time.

Amazing!

We’d done it! We birthed our little boy in sensual, loving bliss!

We were in awe of his perfection and kept crying with joy just looking at him, soaking in his newborn radiance, so divine, so perfect. What a magical occasion.

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