I had this dream recently… right in the middle of my moontime, which is a potent time for a women to tune in to the unseen realms and receive messages and visions. Although it was 3 am when I woke up, I knew I needed to get up and write the dream down. Here it is.
I was driving in the car. It was a blackout, no streetlights, no traffic lights and no headlights. There were lots of other cars driving around in the dark too. Suddenly I found myself at a T intersection and quickly pulled the steering wheel to jerk my car to the right at the last moment, as visibility was low. Then, a policeman pulled me over for dangerous driving. I knew I wasn’t breaking the law and hadn’t technically done anything wrong, and he was clutching at straws to book me, but I got out the car and went with him as he was insistent and I knew there was more of a risk in refusing to follow along with his orders.
He took me to a square concrete room, which just fit about 20 people, who were lined up along the walls inside. As I entered the room, I morphed into wearing a sexy steampunk outfit with a fancy metal collar, and was pushed toward the wall by the cop, so I was facing the wall with my back to him. He came up closer behind me and pressed his full body against mine, to make an example to the others about how bad I was, rubbing his body on mine and saying over and over that I would need to pay for committing such a terrible act.
His body and behaviour was vile to me, absolutely disgusting and perverted, sweaty and lusty and making my skin crawl, but in the circumstances I felt powerless to object, or say anything. Instead I was looking pleadingly at the other people in the room who were also feeling equally uncomfortable and avoiding eye contact with me, because the situation was so confronting and vile.
His disgusting hot, sweaty, overweight body continued to press against mine, completely unchecked by a group of grown adults who were too scared to speak up. I was cringing and fuming with intense rage inside about his abuse of the situation, and how powerless I felt on the inside.
Then he said he needed to teach me a lesson as an example to the others about what happens to people when they do dangerous, irresponsible things like I just had done. He held a syringe filled with who-knows-what, a toxic cocktail of low-vibrational filth, not unlike what’s being injected into our children on a mass scale, and he said he was going to inject it into my neck because I needed it to calm me down.
By this stage, I was immersed in a complex psychological stand-off with this twisted ego maniac, and I also knew there was NO WAY he was going to inject that stuff into my neck. I was having an intense visceral full-body reaction, similar to how I feel about the epidemic injection of babies and children, as that corruption and abuse of power from the dark forces carries the same energy to me.
In desperation, I started reasoning with this vile, perverted man. I said, “I know you don’t like what I did, but I actually didn’t break any laws, and although I understand you want to make an example of me for dangerous driving, there is no reason whatsoever to inject that stuff into my neck and I won’t let you.”
He was surprised and amused to see his prey start to resist, and insisted that I needed the injection ‘for my own good’ yet I could tell that my strength of conviction on this issue was stronger than his. I continued to declare that I know he’s just doing his job and wanting to keep the roads safe – appealing to the ego part of him that didn’t want to be humiliated or overpowered in a scene in front of a room of witnesses where he’d just been in a position of power and control. In desperation to avoid this toxic injection, I spoke to the illusion of his authority so he would not feel ridiculed and had space to change his mind about the injection without ‘losing face’ or losing his air of superiority that he was so desperately identified with.
It was an intense psychological thriller, dancing on the edge of danger and freedom, and I intuitively knew I had the upper hand because I could see what was playing out here, and my staunch determination to avoid the injection (ie autonomy and freedom) was stronger than his attempts to dominate and control.
I even turned and said, “You’re right. I was driving dangerously and you had every right to make an example of me and I’ve learned my lesson now and don’t need the injection to curb my ways.”
He was satisfied that is position and authority was no longer under threat, although to everyone else it was so clear that his perceived power was an illusion stemming from a deep core of insecurity and needing to prove himself as valid and powerful. In reality, he was a hurt, wounded child underneath that veneer of tough aggression, and the whole facade was disturbing and pathetic.
The sexual violation and perversion was disgusting and repulsive, yet the violation of piercing my skin and penetrating my body with his cocktails from the dark forces was the catalyst for me to speak up and say NO MORE.
So, his illusory ego was intact enough that he could keep his position and release me from his threat to inject me with the stuff. I knew I had the power to protect myself, even though I had powerlessly endured that disgusting sexual violation and objectification until that point.
After that, I had all my current belongings in a shopping trolley and went to see my friend Jacqui and show her a video of me in rockstar mode in my sexy steampunk costume. I showed her a short video clip of me doing an epic drum solo with the camera zoning right in close to my face, with dreadlocks flailing around and spit flinging from my lips in this intense mode of full power frantic drumming.
And I told her about the incident of reclaiming my power and avoiding the injection and she was impressed at the psychological tactics that got me there.
And that was the end of the dream.
What does this all mean?
Afterwards, in reflection I realised the policeman represents the patriarchal control structures, abusing their power unchecked while people know it’s happening but feel powerless to stop it. It takes an extreme event to force people to stand up and say no more. Then, rather than fighting back, there needs to be a more strategic approach, given the current power imbalance, to speak to the perceived needs of the control structures in a way that is not oppositional or threatening, but instead reasons with them in a way that ‘they’ can see that cooperating with our vision is also going to benefit them and not threaten their perceived power.