Over the years, especially since becoming a mother, I’ve had a borderline obsession with time, and a desire to use it wisely. Motherhood suddenly threw me into a place where time was no longer my own. I had no idea before that, just frittering away days and nights like they would last forever. Not until having a little one dependent on me 24/7 did I deepen my understanding of the value of time, and how precious it truly is. This is one of the gifts and challenges of motherhood.
Our relationship with time has a deeply profound impact on our sense of wellbeing, fulfillment and self acceptance. It can make the difference between frustration and overwhelm, and feeling at peace within, or ‘like time is running out’, or being ‘behind’.
Time management is an illusion. Time flows in cycles, and as the planet evolves, the whole time-space continuum is expanding. This means that our perception of time is always changing. It’s not fixed. It does not fit into boxes.
I’ve been spending years studying and researching all the different methods of time management, personal effectiveness and productivity, studying the secrets of achievement gurus who train elite athletes, and trying out all sorts of systems and planners. I’ve even drawn pie charts with percentages, worked out how many hours I have per month and which proportions can be allocated to which tasks, including sleeping, eating, children, housework, love-making and all the multitude of interests and projects that are ever present in my life. I can sit and draw up the most impressive looking weekly plan, with all the parts of my life slotted into spaces in a perfectly balanced way. But time doesn’t fit into boxes like that… which is why I created Flow Baby Flow.
I’m here to make the most of this precious life, and have been on a mission to master it.
In a reflective space the other day, my most recent ‘Weekly Plan’ flashed into my mind with a dull blue glow, like creepy fluorescent lights in a morgue. It was an immaculately designed picture-perfect puzzle of my life, with all the pieces slotted onto graph paper in the back of my Bullet Journal.
But it was the ultimate cosmic joke!
As soon as I put my pens down from my fantasy plan, and return to my actual life, with 5 children, a house in mid-renovation, an effervescent 4 year old with unpredictable sleep patterns, an organic, growing business that evolves and changes every day, an expanding tribe of women and a multidimensional universe, I see the futility. What was I thinking? Life does not fit in neat little boxes. And the fact that it doesn’t has been an ongoing source of background stress and frustration for me. No wonder I feel tired!
I ‘should’ be finished this project by now. I ‘should’ be working on something else right now. Our renovations ‘should’ be finished by now. So many shoulds. So much self judgment and resistance wrapped up in this obsession with the timing of things.
So… I had a breakthrough about coming into a more flowing relationship with time.
Instead of using my mind to organise time, I can use it to organise my thoughts in a streamlined way. My mind then becomes a tool to weave my dreams and visions into plans and steps. Then, I can surrender to the moment and trust myself to do what feels alive in each moment. By being clear about what’s important and the direction I want to go in, this gives me flexibility to be present to what is right in front of me, and also know what needs to be done next so I can take inspired action on my path. It also allows me to listen to my inner wisdom and universal guidance, which opens me to ideas that weren’t ever on the original plan!
One way to do this is to check in with myself in the evening. What’s most alive right now? What are my next steps? Write them down. Then check in again in the morning. What do I need to do today? How can I honour myself today? That way, I’m more present in the moment, while also knowing I’m perfectly on track. Having a Bullet Journal definitely helps with organising your thoughts, so check it out if you haven’t yet. That way, all the little steps and actions are in one place so if you’re ever unsure about what to do, have a look in there and see what pops out. And do that thing.
The Flow State
When you are truly at one with time, you enter a timeless state. There is a state of harmony within, pure presence in the moment, total immersion in the task at hand, and a feeling of oneness with the world around you. That is the flow state. When you’re in the flow state, doing something you love, which is something you’re skilled enough to do, yet just challenging enough to keep you engaged, you know you’re perfectly on track. You’re doing what you’re here for. It doesn’t matter what it is. You could be hanging out the washing under a clear blue sky (which reminds me, there’s a full load waiting in the machine…), or whether you’re cooking a meal, or writing, creating something or immersed in conversation. It’s what’s happening right now. It’s in the flow. It cannot NOT be, or you’d be resisting reality. If awareness arises that something else needs your attention, listen to that, and change tasks or take action if needed. Or stay focused where you are. This is a whole new state of being to drop into. Being at one with yourself, and at one with time.
There are larger cycles of time that influence us too. Especially the seasons, moon cycles and our own menstrual cycle. Aligning with the 13 moon cycles shifts you into a whole new, deeper and more natural relationship with time too. This shift is so powerful, it was ‘banned’ by the Christian religion who deemed the number 13 unlucky, because when you’re in the flow and connected with your true self, you’re much harder to control. You can explore this more deeply in Magic of the Moon Cycles.
There are other things that keep us from being present in the moment.
Unresolved communication keeps our mind looping back to the past, rather than being here now. Speaking your truth and clearing up unresolved issues and resentments frees up SO much energy to be here NOW. So many people carry the weight of the world on their shoulders… the burden of unresolved issues and emotions. Take action to free yourself, by feeling, talking, writing about what’s true for you so it can shift. Learn to speak up in the moment, rather than let things slide or accumulate. Journaling is a safe way to express yourself and release thoughts from circling around in your mind.
If you get stuck, it’s helpful to reach out and connect with someone who can support you on your journey. Make sure they are not going to perpetuate the drama cycle and keep you stuck there, but have skills to stay present and aware as you go through your own process, to find your own inner clarity.
The WILD mama Journey supports you to release old stuff and reclaim your personal power and voice. Or if you need personal support, consider booking a private session with me. Our first chat is free.
When your thoughts are organized, your energy is clear in the present moment, and you have freed yourself from old beliefs that keep you stuck or small, then you can trust yourself to take inspired action in the moment. That’s when you can truly soar into your brilliance and do what you’re here for.
It’s all part of the journey, even the messy, unresolved, confusing bits. Be with the mess. Be with the confusion. Don’t distract yourself from what’s most alive right now.
That way, you step into your own flow. The miraculous thing about being human, is that anything unresolved will keep coming up to show you. Notice any repeated thoughts or feelings that keep coming up. Ask what needs to shift. What is the lesson here? Ask: “How can this support me to understand myself more?”
Trying to fit time into boxes that aren’t real disconnects us from the truth of who we are. It keeps us limited, frustrated, and ‘racing against time’. Time isn’t something to race against, it’s something to drop into.
BE as you are. Pay attention to your body. Listen to the quiet inner voice within you. You can live an inspired life by following the inspiration that is within you.
Step into the mystery and trust!
To support you on this mission, check out Flow Baby Flow. It’s a little course you can do from home, which supports you to connect with what’s most alive for you, and rise into a higher flow for your life.
