This is such a juicy topic that causes a lot of stress, anxiety, and cold feet for many couples. My challenge in this area is NOT to become pregnant. I know infertility is also a heartbreaking and stressful issue facing many people at the moment, and it’s an area I have supported people with, but it’s not the focus of this section because I am highly fertile with a line up of souls ready to jump at the chance to join our tribe. At one point the children were chanting to invoke the next one in. After watching the credits of ‘The Weeping Camel’, we saw the name Botok on the screen, and thought it was a cool name. Keep in mind, we are both clear that our family is complete. Then the children were all around the dining table, chanting: “Botok! Botok! Botok!” to invoke him in. We have one spare seat at the table, and one spare seat in the tarago. We have decided to leave that space spare. Spaciousness is a beautiful thing. As much as my womb is an inviting temple and I love birth, we have decided that Botok can come in through Luna, or someone else one day. That’ll be a decade or 2 away. In the meantime, how do we close the temple doors and make sure he doesn’t slip in?
A long time ago I went on the pill. Twice. Besides the fact that I frequently forgot to take it which would render it ineffective anyway, it really fucked me up. It’s hard to describe, but I didn’t feel like I was in my own body anymore. I didn’t feel like myself. I know the pill is seen as one of the most liberating factors in female sexuality, but it also disrupts a woman’s connection with her innate power through disrupting her natural hormone balance. Our cycles are a powerful gateway into our inner wisdom and feminine power. For me, it’s not an option to override my instinctual feminine power and body wisdom with a packet of hormone pills. So the pill is out. Same with implants. They’re even worse.
The idea of invading my sacred womb temple with an IUD just freaks the hell out of me so I am not even giving that idea one more sentence. Shudders. I’m not cutting into my womb or fallopian tubes either. Brett and I have talked about a vasectomy, which is the least invasive procedure. In fact, when Zenon was a wee newborn just a few weeks old, Brett booked himself in for a consultation about this. I was still riding the high of ecstatic birth bliss and not ready to make a permanent decision about future babies at that point, so I freaked out and he cancelled the appointment and seems to have cold feet about the idea now.
So, with all those options not options at the moment, what do we do? Firstly, I tune into my cycles and am aware of my fertility. Did you know women can ovulate twice a month? Once mid-cycle, around day 14 between bleeds, and again when the moon is in the same phase as the day you were born. This is called your ‘Lunar Ovulation’ and accounts for those random mid-bleed or spontaneous ovulations that don’t seem to fit into the regular cycle of fertility. I am aware of that, and tuned into the Moon Cycles too. This awareness gives women an advantage. Not only about fertility, but all other aspects of life, emotions and creativity. We have a rich well of wisdom available to us through the women’s mysteries and our menstrual cycle. To be frank, Brett and I make sure no semen enters my vagina during my fertile times. We also practice non-ejaculatory tantric sex most of the time anyway, because this expands pleasure, connection and vitality. It is unfortunate that a woman’s fertile times also coincide with times of higher sexual desire, as mother nature would have it, so there are rare occasions when we will use a condom even though they suck. You can get some pretty hi tech super-thin ones these days, despite the momentary distraction of actually putting the thing on… Otherwise, we have frequent, unprotected sex without ejaculation most of the time, and use a combination of fertility awareness and vigilant non-ejaculation during fertile times.
The other lesser-appreciated factor in fertility is our consciousness. This could potentially be one of the most powerful too. Conception is an energetic portal where souls travel between worlds. Energetically, we are not open to a baby coming in. Just like when my babies did come in, I invited them in and felt their presence before they arrived. Right now we are closed for business. I will briefly share another story about the power of consciousness in fertility. In a nutshell, I conceived a baby after a spontaneous encounter, which was NOT my intention. I did a powerful ritual very early in pregnancy to connect with the soul, let them know I love them, and ask, or rather ‘command’ them to leave my womb, and come back at a time when I can honour their life within a more loving and supportive container. I miscarried the next day. True story. For now, the cosmic gate is closed.
We are SO powerful. More powerful than we know.